Saloni Suri on the Neuroscience Behind Mindsets that Unlock Growth
In third episode of Be All You Can, Saloni Suri, coach, speaker, and neuroscience expert, unpacks how a powerful mindset can transform the way we work, live, and lead.
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Mar 26, 20260:02: I did not have a degree in coaching.
0:05: So it was very hard for me to even say to the world that I'm a coach.
0:10: That was my first roadblock.
0:13: And then you know, I had to look around.
0:16: I had to see, does Robin Sharma have an ICF coaching certification?
0:23: Oh, he doesn't have.
0:24: But he's got a lot of knowledge.
0:27: Does Tony Robbins have a coaching certificate?
0:30: He doesn't have.
0:31: Does Mel Robbins have a coaching certificate?
0:33: Oh, she doesn't have.
0:35: They understand the knowledge.
0:40: Good morning, everyone.
0:42: Welcome to Be All You Can, the show where we bring your stories,
0:46: insights and strategies to help you unlock your full potential.
0:50: I'm Devarshi Sahu, your host for today's episode,
0:53: and I'm thrilled to welcome Saloni Suri,
0:55: a coach and speaker who blends the fascinating world of neuroscience
0:59: with practical tools for personal growth.
1:02: Saloni's work focuses on helping people rewire their thinking,
1:06: break free from limiting beliefs and embrace a growth mindset.
1:10: So welcome to this podcast, Saloni.
1:13: Thank you so much.
1:14: Thank you so much for having me, Deva.
1:15: It's a pleasure to be with you.
1:17: So before we begin with this conversation,
1:20: I must mention that I had the chance to attend your workshop on campus,
1:25: which you had conducted.
1:27: And what really stayed with me was the way you seamlessly blended neuroscience
1:32: with coaching.
1:33: Now that's something incredibly compelling about approaches that are rooted
1:37: in science,
1:38: and it leaves little room for doubt and a strong case for action,
1:42: which I thought everyone who attended the workshop benefited from.
1:47: Now, segueing from there,
1:49: I would like to begin this podcast by asking you what first sparked your
1:54: interest in using neuroscience as a medium for coaching?
1:58: Why neuroscience?
1:59: Yeah, so I'm actually a very left-brained person,
2:02: which means that for me there has to be logic and there has to be some
2:09: sort of backing in terms of if I have to believe in something,
2:13: I need to understand what is happening at the back.
2:16: Correct?
2:17: So I think that is where I started going deeper into neuroscience and coming
2:23: from the spiritual world where there is yoga, there's meditation.
2:28: So I was curious.
2:29: So I think my journey started because I am like that.
2:32: I need proof points.
2:33: I need data points.
2:35: So, and I got those data points in neuroscience.
2:39: So what has been said in terms of coaching world,
2:43: what is it that you really have to do?
2:45: So all of that in our ancient texts, it was already written.
2:49: So they probably knew the neuroscience of it already.
2:53: And I wanted to study it because a lot of people,
2:56: when you even say the word manifestation, you talk about imagination,
3:00: you talk about visualization, people just switch off.
3:03: I mean, this is all like, you know, it's all like La La Land.
3:08: So I needed to explain it.
3:10: I needed to teach it to the skeptic and to that person who would say to me,
3:15: that I don't believe this.
3:17: So I approached it like that.
3:19: And I think it really worked.
3:22: And there is so much of literature out there, which talks about this.
3:26: So I spoke what I would understand because I have used everything that I
3:30: teach.
3:31: I have used each and every approach on myself to test run it,
3:34: to see whether it works or it doesn't work.
3:37: And when I collected enough data points that, ah, this works.
3:41: Let's do it.
3:43: Fascinating indeed.
3:44: So was there a defining moment or experience that you,
3:48: that pushed you towards this journey of delving into the depth of
3:52: neuroscience?
3:53: I have been studying it for over 25 years, I would say,
3:57: but I never taught it.
3:58: So I used it for myself because I realized that I needed to become and
4:03: unlock my own potential, because if I cannot do it for myself,
4:07: what am I going to teach you? Correct.
4:10: So I did not have a degree in coaching.
4:13: So it was very hard for me to even say to the world that I'm a coach.
4:19: That was my first roadblock.
4:22: And then, you know, I had to look around, had to see,
4:26: does Robin Sharma have a ICF coaching certification?
4:31: Oh, he doesn't have, but he's got a lot of knowledge. I see.
4:35: Okay.
4:35: Does Tony Robbins have a coaching certificate? He doesn't have.
4:40: Does Mel Robbins have a coaching certificate? Oh, she doesn't have.
4:43: They understand the knowledge. So you see,
4:46: your beliefs will come and stop you.
4:50: So I had to work on myself and my belief system to change it so that I could
4:56: confidently say, yes, I'm a neuro coach.
5:00: I know what I'm talking about.
5:00: And yes, I am self-taught.
5:03: I don't know if you're familiar with this author called Ayn Rand,
5:06: The Fountainhead.
5:09: Classic book.
5:09: I read this book in my eighth standard.
5:11: There was a protagonist, his name is Howard Rook.
5:16: And in the eighth standard, he deeply influenced me, deeply.
5:20: And I understood that how important the mind is.
5:25: And then there were books like Zen and the Art of Martial Arts.
5:29: And these were just books that are lying around.
5:32: It started off my journey into becoming clear about what my values were,
5:38: who I wanted to be and how I could serve the world.
5:43: And I went to study in hostels.
5:43: My father was in the railway,
5:46: so he had a transferable job. So after the 10th standard,
5:50: I was 15 years old and I lived on my own.
5:53: We started studying, right? And we obviously didn't have any devices.
5:57: We didn't have any distractions.
6:00: And my parents always told me that you have to study for the rest of your life.
6:07: So there was a system, right? For example, if I look at the five pillars of life,
6:13: if I have to explain it very simply, the number one is Bhakti.
6:17: Bhakti is devotion. It is of two kinds.
6:20: The first one is actually towards yourself because you are responsible for yourself
6:26: and you have to be devoted to your work.
6:33: Always work hard.
6:33: See how is it that you can become a better version of yourself.
6:38: The second is Seva.
6:38: Always do work in which you are helping other people, right?
6:46: Because when you help another person, you are actually putting your work,
6:51: taking your gifts, taking your blessings and you're helping the divine one.
6:56: And the third is Vidya. Always study.
7:01: Always study about yourself and always keep studying.
7:05: Keep gaining more knowledge about the work that you do because it is changing.
7:10: We are living in a very volatile environment.
7:13: And when you have a Vidya-related mindset in which you haven't arrived because you don't know it all,
7:19: and then it keeps your balance in place.
7:22: The fourth is Gyan. Gyan is your wisdom.
7:26: When you have knowledge, you will have Gyan.
7:28: You will have the wisdom to take the right decision at the right time.
7:33: And the fifth and the most important is your Karma.
7:38: I meet so many clients, so many leaders who are so lost in their own thoughts
7:43: and they're so lost in their brain fog and they're not able to take a decision.
7:50: And that is when procrastination starts to creep in.
7:53: So my entire youth, I would say, was spent alone.
77:58: And I studied. I studied so much to become clear on what I wanted to do.
8:04: And then when I entered into marriage and I was very clear at that time also,
8:10: as a 24 year old when I got married, that this is how a relationship should be.
8:16: This is what marriage is all about.
8:18: And like I said, the secret to a happy marriage is being married to a happy person.
8:22: Right.
8:22: So I was a happy person and I continue to work on my happiness so that,
8:30: you know, I'm not looking for it outside.
8:33: Because the truth is that, you know, nobody can actually make you happy.
8:39: It is your job to make yourself happy, because when you work well,
8:44: automatically it will have a reflection on your work because it is the same person.
8:49: And when this part is sorted, there are many times people don't know what they need to do.
8:56: They don't know what gives them happiness. They don't know that.
9:00: And I always say the first step is go inside, figure yourself out.
9:05: Because once you have figured yourself out, you are in a good place.
9:09: So I would say I figured and I am figuring myself out to date.
9:12: And that is a quest of life. The purpose is to figure out how you work and what you have to do here.
9:22: And if we have embedded helping other people with our work, we feel very happy.
9:29: So I love sharing my knowledge a lot like what I'm doing right now with you.
9:34: Right. There is no benefit to me of sharing my knowledge with you.
9:39: But this is my seva. Help other people. And everybody has escaped.
9:46: Everybody.
9:46: All of us are born with some gifts. All of us have blessings.
9:51: But when we do it and when we do it with this mindset, we feel very happy.
9:57: And when you are studying yourself and when you're spending time and understanding about your work as well as about you,
10:04: again, you feel very happy. And wisdom is an outcome.
10:10: Gyan is an outcome of the effort you have made to study yourself and study about your work.
10:17: A leader who is able to take a very quick decision, his knowledge about that, the market scenario is very good.
10:25: That is how he can take a decision.
10:25: So this vidya, studying about yourself, I am taking a pause.
10:32: Just taking a pause. Confident people take a pause.
10:32: Let me think about it and I'll get back to you.
10:40: That's a wonderful idea. Let me think about it and get back to you.
10:44: That is known as wisdom. And when you take the action every day in these two parts of your life, you lead a very fulfilling life.
10:54: It's what you say.
10:54: It's very shant. It's very amit.
10:57: Because you know that today is the day.
10:57: What do I have to do today? And which is where the journaling comes into play.
11:05: So when you write every day, I'm so grateful that yesterday. I feel blessed that yesterday.
11:13: I love that yesterday. So you've bought in your work, you've bought in your family, you've bought in your friends, you've bought in your community.
11:20: Because like I said, we are not we are not wired to live alone.
11:26: We are wired to live in a community where we feel safe, where we are seen, where we are loved.
11:32: Because love is so important. So it's a very simple exercise.
11:37: When you feel a lack of love, just take your right hand and just put it on your neck.
11:42: One, two, three releases a chemical called serotonin. Oxytocin helps us feel calmer.
11:51: Just take your hands and just brush them down. One from your shoulders.
11:56: Do it five, six times.
12:01: Automatically, you will feel a little better.
12:01: Because even during the day, there could be a big presentation coming up.
12:05: A person feels nervous.
12:10: A person feels anxious, feeling nervous.
12:10: These are all real emotions and they happen to us.
12:13: Somebody has said something to you and you want to immediately react back.
12:17: Pause. Quickly just do this. That simple exercise I taught in the workshop.
12:22: One, two, three, four, five, six. Quickly do this.
12:27: These are all methods in which your body can naturally reset itself and naturally recharge the way you are feeling.
12:37: Because otherwise, if you allow the negative emotion to flow for more than 15 to 20 seconds,
12:46: the negativity bias kicks in because that is the way the brain works.
12:50: Negative emotions get stuck in our brain.
12:54: Negative feelings, negative thoughts are way more powerful than the positive ones.
12:59: The negative thoughts, they stick in our brain like Velcro and all the positive stuff goes away.
13:05: You forget everything. So in that, the time that you have is very little.
13:11: The window to shift from a negative thought pattern to a positive thought pattern is close to about 10, 15 seconds.
13:18: I mean, that's the amount of time it takes to build a new neural pathway.
13:22: So you have to think differently when you find yourself in a soup, when you find yourself spiraling into a negative loop.
13:30: So how quickly you can actually shift it is the game changer.
13:36: And that is the quest. And the biggest problem I see nowadays is people rushing in because the brain is continuously on an overdrive.
13:46: It is continuously running. So you feel you have to do firefighting all the time.
13:52: Therefore, pause.
13:52: And when you pause, even if you do the simple exercise for 10 seconds, you do the calming exercise for 10 seconds.
13:59: There are very interesting brain games on the mobile app stores, right?
14:05: And many of these brain games, they are for one minute or for two minutes.
14:09: And if you play that game for two minutes, you have immediately shifted your thought.
14:14: There's something called Q block. It's a strategy game. So you actually have to sit and make those boxes.
14:20: So your mind gets distracted. What do people do?
14:23: They end up scrolling on Instagram, Instagram scrolling and watching Netflix.
14:30: The brain is not doing anything.
14:30: You're just watching. You're just watching.
14:34: There is no activity that is happening.
14:34: So whenever you have to choose between entertainment and education,
14:42: use something in which your brain is actually moving. It is also entertainment.
14:48: Playing a mobile game is also entertainment.
14:53: It's not a problem, but at least you're using your brain.
14:53: And then you can replace a negative thought with a positive thought.
14:58: And many times we don't have solutions.
15:00: We don't know the answer. That is when the spiral is even heavier.
15:04: So when you don't have an answer to the situation or the problem that you might find yourself in,
15:11: you have to move the left and the right brain because the answers are somewhere hidden over there.
15:15: And when you play an interesting game, like I can give you two recommendations.
15:21: One is a game called Q block and the second is a game called Triple Match 3D.
15:27: There is color in it and you have to operate in threes.
15:31: You have to touch three things and you have to collect it.
15:34: And they have the sound, shing, a lot like how Zomato and Swiggy do it.
15:39: So that shing gives us a reward.
15:42: It releases dopamine and there are levels to cross.
15:45: So if you're not working well at work and you find yourself, at least win on a mobile game.
15:52: These are those little victories that give you.
15:56: And the music that the triple match has is absolutely on point.
16:03: The design of the game and its color. So you have to match three things.
16:07: Left, right, left brain, right brain, left brain and spatial. You have to go left, right, left, right, left, right.
16:12: You have to find it.
16:12: You have to find it. So when you're finding something and you're collecting it,
16:16: it gives the message to the brain. Ah, you'll figure this out.
16:21: It's not a problem.
16:21: You gave us already some science back tools and techniques that we can use in our day to day lives.
16:26: Now, you know, some of us are pessimistic by nature.
16:32: Some of us are optimistic by nature.
16:32: Some of us are in the spectrum lie somewhere in the middle. Right now.
16:37: Introversion is a trait. Right. As different people with different mindset.
16:42: What is some of those common things that all of us can do to build this?
16:47: What do you term as growth mindset? So how do we manifest this growth mindset?
16:51: If inherently I'm a pessimist. The first step, I would say, is journaling.
16:57: Right.
16:57: Because pessimism has a vocabulary. So there are words that you have remembered.
17:06: You have heard it and therefore you are repeating it.
17:06: So unfortunately,
17:11: optimism and pessimism is also taught in childhood.
17:16: So remember that optimism needs to be taught.
17:21: And if you have forgotten it, number one, it's a learned skill.
17:24: What is your default? Pessimism is something that you have learned.
17:28: So if you have learned it, you can unlearn it. Optimism is your default.
17:33: All children are born with the feeling that they are going to work and they do it.
17:39: So, for example, in the Rewire Your Brain book, I have there are affirmations.
17:44: So when you are spiraling down, use an affirmation that works for you.
17:49: And all research shows us that one trait of all successful leaders,
17:55: the number one trait is they have a very optimistic outlook because optimism
18:01: and decision making and problem solving are linked together.
18:05: A person who is pessimistic will not be able to take a decision.
18:08: He's not going to be able to actually solve a problem.
18:11: We love to be acknowledged for the effort that we have made, acknowledging others,
18:16: sharing credit, celebrating, recognizing people who have come together to find a solution.
18:22: That happens by collaboration. It happens by teamwork.
18:27: Saloni, on this point, I'd like to ask, you know, you said that most leaders are optimistic.
18:33: And while that's a good trait, how do you balance?
18:36: You know, a lot of people are optimistic and hence they under plan, you know,
18:40: because they always see Rosie's side of things.
18:42: And that leaves them at times unprepared to face the obstacles and unknowns,
18:48: which oftentimes come across your way when you are striving for things.
18:53: So how do you balance your optimism bias with the right amount of planning and preparation?
18:59: Right. So that is where knowledge comes into play.
19:03: So when you are not knowledgeable enough and you are not spending some time in gathering all the data points,
19:11: your informed optimism is going to be skewed because you don't have the knowledge.
19:18: If you have the knowledge, if you have all the data points, which is why we say don't rush in.
19:26: Take one day, gather all your data points and then take a decision.
19:31: Then it is an informed decision.
19:31: Every decision that you take is a risk because you don't know the outcome.
19:37: But the more informed you are, the more data points you have, the faster.
19:42: And today, by God's grace, we have so much, so much of data that is available using AI tools and tech tools.
19:52: So I think spending time in studying, spending time in gathering data,
19:57: there is only so much that you will be able to gather so much.
20:01: But then you have to trust your instinct. So the instinct is in the gut.
20:05: It's a gut feeling. All successful leaders trust their gut.
20:12: They trust their instinct because optimism and pessimism both come into that together.
20:19: So when you have to choose, always trust yourself. Always.
20:23: So optimism, informed data points and your instinct.
20:27: This is a triangle. And when you connect the dots, you will be able to move forward.
20:33: You know, I found it very startling.
20:33: One of your statements was we are all professional failures.
20:40: Right. You know, that's that's very honest and powerful.
20:43: So what exactly do you mean by that? And, you know, we all feel right.
20:46: We all feel. So how do we see those failures not as as being a reflection of our identity,
20:54: rather than as a stepping stone to do or something greater?
20:57: So the answer is very simple.
21:00: And we all have to remember this, that failure is an event.
21:04: It is not personal. The problem happens when you make it personal.
21:09: I failed. No, the task that I was doing, the decision that I took was wrong.
21:17: Therefore, I failed.
21:17: Now, when you remember this, you are good.
21:21: The problem is when you make the same mistake two times, three times, four times, that is when it becomes a problem.
21:31: So doing a reflection after a failure, after an event or a decision in which you have failed.
21:39: So doing a reflection. OK, what did I learn from this failure?
21:45: Stops it in the tracks and then you don't make the same mistake two times.
21:49: No, that is so well said that never, never make the same mistake twice.
21:55: You know, that's a sign of intelligence and that's a sign of knowledge. Knowledge actually becoming wisdom.
22:00: Right.
22:00: Absolutely. I really love those five points of Bhakti, Seva, Vidya, Gyan and Karma,
22:07: because they are profound because one can take action on each one of them, you know, and each one of them feeds into each other.
22:15: So Saloni, you mentioned the book that you were working on during this conversation.
22:22: I think if I remember it right, it is Rewire Your Brain.
22:26: Right, right. So I always say that journaling is one of the most powerful ways in which you can change the way that you are thinking,
22:36: because we think in words.
22:36: Right. And over here, I have shared a very beautiful, it's a prompted, it's a guided journal.
22:45: So there are prompts and there is a formula that I have invented.
22:52: It is known as the RRFM formula.
22:52: Start your day with a reflection and remember what you are grateful for.
22:56: Number two, rewire, rewire your brain every day, rewire your belief system.
23:02: And then it is the focus, which means what is it that you are focusing on today?
23:07: So goal manifestation has a lot to do with being able to be clear on what is it that you need to finish in the day.
23:15: So a reflection, be grateful because you want more of that.
23:19: And the last one, the last sentence is I know in my heart, which is the manifestation.
23:25: Why do I write on a yellow book with a red pen? Because yellow and red is the color of action.
23:32: There is a chemical called acetylcholine that is released with this color combination.
23:36: And it puts us into action so you can follow.
23:41: It's a 66 day guided journal. And if you follow this, it literally changes your life.
23:47: Literally.
23:47: So journaling, meditation and moving your body is part of the Brahma Murtham golden hour.
23:54: And this is the best time between 4 to 6 a.m. to actually start taking control because within 20 minutes of waking up,
24:02: unfortunately, cortisol, which is a stress hormone, is naturally released.
24:07: So you have to put in the dopamine in the morning.
24:11: These are values.
24:11: So you can choose from here if you like. And if you don't have the vocabulary of what your values are, you can choose it also.
24:20: So it's a very powerful exercise and it's for 66 days. And that's what it is.
24:25: So, folks, do peruse the book Rewire the Brain.
24:29: Do give RRFM a try and see how it helps you.
24:34: Absolutely. And there is a free YouTube video.
24:39: You can also go and watch it if you like.
24:39: Oh, that's that's even better. Thank you, Saloni, for joining us today and inspiring our colleagues with your incredible journey
24:46: and the practical tips that you doled out, which I'm sure is going to help all of us going forward in our journey.
24:53: Thank you. Thank you so much.
24:56: Thanks for listening to Be All You Can, a podcast by Godrej Enterprises Group.
25:02: Exploring the passion, purpose and dreams of pioneers.
25:06: Stay tuned for more stories that inspire action and impact.